A New Era 2023- 2024

May 24, 2024

A New Era

Summer 2023- Spring 2024

This project is an investigation of queerness, gender questioning, intimacy, openness, acceptance and nudity.

After long years of body shaming, I’m finally moving into a process of self-love and acceptance with my body and my queerness since fleeing the war in Syria to the Netherlands in 2014.

Embracing and allowing myself to feel all the different sides of me has been a powerful and magical journey towards liberation, further integrating me into Dutch culture and entering my art practice into an ongoing contemporary interrogation of the body.

Through an online open call I shared on my Instagram account, I received many messages from interested people who are on the same journey as me and want to share their stories with the outside world.

The participants are between 22 and 41 years old, from diverse gender identities, ethnicities and backgrounds, centering different perspectives, ideas and thoughts on queerness.

For this research I worked with a diverse group of 10 participants who identify themselves as queer; the participants- who come from different parts of the Netherlands but mainly from Amsterdam- were invited to my studio to talk about our shared journey towards liberation.

I seek to build a dialogue that allows for a wider acceptance of diversity and equality in our Dutch society. By sharing queer stories with a larger public both online and physically at exhibitions, I aim to spread awareness on this important topic of our everyday life.

The session was approximately 4/5 hours, starting with an open and honest conversation about our experiences as queers. With the agreement of the participant the session will be recorded as research towards the writing I did on each contributor. I have prepared a few questions and notes to guide the session, like the age, preferred pronoun, how they identify themselves, the environment they grew up with, their relationship with their bodies, their sexuality and gender identity. I also shared my story and journey as well as a back-and-forth conversation and dialogue. They were free to ask me what they want or share with me what they feel comfortable with.

The participants could decide wither they want to use their real names for the research or to choose an anonymous name that represents their Queer Era.

Later on I took few polaroid photos of their full scale bodies, faces, and close up pictures of body details, after the conversation. I created 2 paintings of each participant using the polaroids as references for the produced paintings.

The idea of transforming a tiny polaroid photo to a large scale painting is my metaphor to put a spot light on hidden stories in our Dutch society, revealing many vulrunable experiences as well as powerful ones.

Through different mediums and layers, I am trying to understand each participant’s story by talking to them, photographing them, writing a text about them and creating a painting that presents their queer era. Artistically this project has a theme of self- transformation and the philosophy of queerness through post-colonial practice.

This project was made possible with the generous support of the AFK, Amsterdams Fonds voor de Kunst.

Public Presentations

UNFAIR23

Gashouder Westergas, Amsterdam

16-19 November 2023

Ij Kunst Collectief

Loods 6, Amsterdam

29-31 March 2024

Solo exhibition ‘A New Era’ Gallery Madé van Krimpen

Prinsengracht 615H, 1016 HT Amsterdam

12 April- 19 May

"A New Era" oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on linen 300x140 cm 2024

A New Era is a soft embrace of intimacy through interaction and connection, a series of collaged figures exchanging in the pleasure of seeing and being seen. In Mallah’s new chapter he invites the viewer to see intimacy as an ongoing blur of energetic exchanges between us, rather than actions bordered by shame. The queerness implicit in the un-gendered figures invites the viewer into an expanse of desire, untethered by distinction and embracing softness.

“Xenon”

He/Him

24 years

“I do have a little bit of shame about my body, only recently I’ve been exploring my sexuality more and be with people I feel more comfortable with and the ability to get intimate with, I am open about my body and to nudity with these people. But I still struggle with the way that other people might perceive me.”

Painting details: oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas 120x80 cm/ 2023

“Nicole”

She/ Her

41 years

“I started exploring my queerness a few years ago, after I realised I can feel attraction to persons of any gender. Identifying as a queer person has been very liberating for me. It allows me to let go of expectations of what it means to be a woman and what romantic relationships should look like. To allow myself to be who I am, feel what I feel and explore my sexuality with others regardless of their gender identity, has brought me joy and also more confidence. I feel happy to be on this journey and I look forward to discovering even more.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2023

“Karmen”

She/He/ They

22 years

“So, I am gender fluid; and for me my fluidity really depends on how I feel when I wake up. It’s like an exercise that I do every morning when I wake up.

I get naked in front of the mirror; I look at myself and I ask myself:

How do you feel today?

Who are you today?

I have days when I feel feminine, and other days when I feel more masculine.

In many cases, when I’m feeling masculine, it feels like I’m stuck in this female body and people will perceive me in this way.

It is confusing sometimes, but it has been an absolutely beautiful journey to accept my fluidity and learn more about my sexuality every day.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2023

“Eniegma”

Non-binary

25 years old

“It all started when I was a child, I felt like I’m trapped in a body that is not mine. I grew up in a small Dutch village where it’s not a normal conversation to have about my gender identity. I knew I’d be bullied at school if I open up about my feelings and my relationship to my body, i didn’t even mention it to my parents and close friends.

Until last year when everything went wrong, I tried to commit suicide. Things came up and I told my family, they were there for me, they supported me and I wish I told them earlier.

I never felt connected to my male body, and I keep ignoring my feelings till this day.

I know I need to give more attention to myself and my needs.

However I love these moments when I wear a wig, wear make up and put a skirt on. It’s so beautiful to be able to express myself how I want at queer events and I hope one day I’ll be able to express myself in the streets as I deserve.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2023

“Rebecca”

She/ they

29 years

“I think my understanding of queerness really stems from this idea of fully exploring the horizon of possibility. There is more to be found, there is more to be discovered. There’s a full horizon of experience that we have just not dived into in someway.

Queerness is this constant feeling towards more, and towards the future. So in that way it’s a movement, it’s an ongoing movement within us. Which I always think is the rhythm of the body. Even when we want to be still, we are never still. There’s this constant motion and ongoingness, so queerness is a kind of expanse, a kind of personal tide, ebbing and flowing.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2023

“Seif”

He/him

24 years

‘Coming from Egypt where it’s illegal to be gay didn’t help me to explore my sexuality and queerness back home.

There was a lot of shame around it, and it took me some time to acknowledge it and say it out loud to some friends and family members.

I was arrested in 2020 in Egypt for homosexuality, I stayed few months in jail.

When they released me I was totally traumatised.

Later I came to the Netherlands and applied for asylum for protection.

I’m going through a journey of discovering my queer identity and the process of self-love.

However, not hearing the decision for my asylum request doesn’t provide the feeling of safety that I need to heal from past experiences and grow.’

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2024

“Eduard”

He/ him

28 years

‘For the majority of my life back in Aruba, I had to hide my sexuality. Knowing that I am gay but not being able to find a balance between my masculine and feminine energy was frustrating.

I felt that I had to protect myself in a way by wearing this hypermasculine mask.

Now that I moved to the Netherlands, I created my own safe space and getting slowly better in this process of liberation.

I feel softer and I am more comfortable in queer communities in the Netherlands where I can be myself.’

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2024

Kynai

She/ He

24 years

“I am a nonbinary person, my journey started when I was 11. I didn’t like that I had a uterus, periods and cramps. I felt that I don’t identify with this part of my body.

It was a confusing time to me, I just wanted to be a boy, dress like a boy and behave like a boy.

I used to have an IUD for almost 12 years, and I just took it out a month ago as I started to open up and accept my femininity.

I’m overwhelmed by all the new emotions I was avoiding for many years, however I’m ready to start a new era of acceptance and growth.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2024

Michelle

She/ They

23 years

“I am delicate, I am sexual, I am fragile, I am feminine, I am masculine, I am strong, I am weak, I am confused, I am frustrated, I am beautiful, I am queer.”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2024

“Levi”

He/ him

30 years

“I am a transgender male, which means I was born as a female with female anatomy.

As a child I felt discomfort with my biological genetics; I started transitioning very early when I was 14.

Unfortunately my family didn’t support my decision and I got bullied at school very often, that felt very vulnerable to me but it definitely made stronger and taught me to be independent.

Looking back at many years or therapy, I feel more comfortable with who I became.

I decided to be part of the new era project to give more visibility for transgender people in our society, hopefully other parents would support their children making these decisions”

Painting details:

oil paint, oil pastels, acrylics, softs pastels and spray on canvas

120x80 cm/ 2024